I wish my dad was still alive

I’m truly sorry you’re feeling this way. Grief can be such a powerful and overwhelming emotion, and losing a parent is one of the hardest things anyone can go through. The feeling of wishing your dad was still alive shows just how deeply you loved him, and how important he was in your life. It’s completely natural to wish you could still talk to him, share moments with him, or seek his guidance, especially in difficult times. Losing someone so central to your world leaves a space that feels impossible to fill, and no amount of time can fully erase that longing.

It’s important to acknowledge how deeply his absence affects you. Grief isn’t a straight path, and it doesn’t follow any rules about how long you should feel this way or when you should “move on.” Everyone’s experience with loss is unique, and it can be frustrating when you feel like others expect you to just keep going, like everything is “okay.” But the truth is, it’s not okay, and it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to still feel sadness, confusion, or even anger. It’s okay to miss him deeply, even after a long time.

When you lose a parent, there’s often a sense of feeling unmoored. It’s like the foundation of your life shifts beneath you, and it’s not always clear how to navigate the world without that steady presence. You might find yourself questioning things more, reflecting on the past, and wondering about the “what-ifs.” What would he think of the person you’ve become? What advice would he have given you at this moment in your life? Would he be proud of where you are now? Those questions might not have easy answers, but they also show how much of an impact he had on shaping the person you are.

In times of loss, it’s common to turn inward and wonder how to fill the void. No one can replace a parent, and no one can bring back those moments that were shared. But sometimes, the love and lessons that parent gave you continue to shape your decisions, thoughts, and actions, even after they’re gone. It’s like carrying a piece of them with you—sometimes in the form of memories, sometimes in values they instilled in you, sometimes in little things they left behind. These things aren’t tangible in the way we want, but they continue to be a part of you, even in their absence.

When you miss your dad, it might help to focus on the love that continues to live on. It’s not the same as having him physically there, but his love for you is everlasting. You were important to him, and that bond is something that can never be broken, even by death. The grief you feel is proof of how much he meant to you, and it’s natural to mourn that loss. But alongside that grief, there is still the love he gave you, and that love doesn’t end—it evolves into a different kind of connection.

There might be moments where you feel overwhelmed by the sadness, and that’s okay. Grief comes in waves—it can hit unexpectedly, in a memory, a song, or even a small moment that reminds you of something you shared. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and no one can dictate how long it should last or what it should look like. Sometimes, the grief might feel raw and intense, and at other times, it might settle into something quieter, but still present. Both are valid experiences.

Remember that it’s okay to lean on others for support when you need it, even if it’s just someone to listen. You don’t have to carry all the weight of that grief by yourself. There are people around you who care, whether that’s family, friends, or even just a space for you to express how you feel. Talking about your dad, even though it might bring tears, can also help honor his memory. Sharing stories, recalling his favorite sayings, or remembering those special moments you had together—these things keep his presence alive in your heart.

In the days and months ahead, try to be gentle with yourself. Grief doesn’t come with an expiration date. It’s okay to feel sadness years after your loss, just as it’s okay to find moments of joy even as you remember. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning how to live with the absence while carrying the love and lessons your dad gave you.

It’s clear that your dad had a lasting impact on your life, and that bond will always be a part of who you are. While nothing can truly fill the space he left, the love he gave you is a part of your strength. Your memories, the things he taught you, and the love you shared will always be a part of you, no matter what.